i am having mixed feelings about everything! :( im starting to miss home and everyone already! i havent even left yet and im already feeling like shit. how am i going to cope like this? =( right when im starting to feel comfortable, i have to leave. life sucks. people come and go. well, in my case, im the one whos going. but yeah. it sucks cause whatever im feeling now, sucks. past seven months ive met some new friends and got closer to my old friends. i did so much bonding session (believe it or not) considering that i had about seven months of holiday. -_- i had so much fun and i have to say im one hell of a lucky bitch cause i have so many great friends around me. i mean REALLY great friends. they help me through everything. they made everything better when things fucked up. i have to admit, im more matured now (yerrsehh HAHA :P) after what ive been through this year (WOAHH -_-). not that im trying to brag, but you have to trust me on this, i've learned something OK. and frankly, ive changed... and im a lot nicer now. :P

but anyways, what im trying to say is... im gonne have to start all over again... and i hate the idea of it. sigh. nothing will beat what ive already have. :(

i think i want to pimp my blog... but i cant seem to be bothered to YET. har. i've been trying to make it look neat but i've failed terribly, as you can see. HEHE. so i'm considering whether to remove my previous posts in order to make my blog looks neat. plus, im also deciding whether i should change the address of this blog as the current one sounds GAY (it was a random pick and i used to like its gayness. lol.) and i had enough of it already due to the amounts of letters it has on it. you know, i tend to put an 'S' behind the ball. you get it?? =.= lol. i mean, its supposed to be singular... right?? if im not mistaken that is. hahhaha! SEE! thats what im talking about!!! i dont even remember the address! lol.

anyways, moving on, i dont actually know when im going to change the address etc. lol. i feel bad about changing it cause ive done that one too many times. -_- i used to like my notchloe blog. it was a lot better than this one as it wasn't as DULL. however, i had to change it cause i had a teacher that stalks at my ex school. :S he was some weird guy. no kidding! @.@ so yeah... i think its best for me to change the address or something soon to avoid myself from being monitored by some teacher. =.= that'd be the last thing i want to happen. hahha. true kan?

"dont judge me cause of my last mistake. people change. im nothing like you and i dont want to be anything like you. i know what im capable of and i know what im doing. so please, stop pestering. cause no one is listening. you were never there anyways. you never cared so why now? sometimes i really think how others are so lucky to have what they have."

... yeah, stinks. everything is going downhill since... i dont even know how to put it. i hate this. things arent supposed to be like this. it stinks too much. :(

hah! sorry for the absence. ive been neglecting the blog for quite some time now. ive been too busy doing nothing haha. been relaxing too much and my mum isnt happy about it. cant wait to go back to school and have something to do. my brain cells are starting to die already. T.T

anyways, enough said. its late and i just finished uploading pictures on fb. so till next time. x

i have never drank as much water as i just did since Sunday (the day i was "admitted" to my own house) in my whole entire life! as some of you may already know, ive been sick since sunday (actually, i was already sick since wednesday, but my body only decided to give in on sunday! LOL.) and i havent been out since then! haha and believe it or not, i havent been "mo-mok-ing" too people. i havent been since i was at home and sick!!! im actually deciding to QUIT for good! :D ok ok, i think ive been coming with too many suprises, i need to slow down a bit in case some of you might experience a heart attack! hahaha. cause seriously, i mean... who are we kidding right???? but hey... give me a break. im serious OK? have a little faith in me people! im not that bad! :P hehe. so yeah, back to the reason why im not drinking that much water anymore... its because ITS MAKING MY FACE LOOK OVERLY BLOATED! urgh! my face looks horrible right now. -_- its not even funny. sigh. i dont know if they have a name for it in english but its called as "shui chong" or something like that in mandarin. i've never believed there were such thing before until i actually experienced it myself. haha. im actually looking for a remedy for my overly bloated looking face now online but i cant seem to interpret "shui chong" into english? couldnt be bothered to ask for its english word before since i never believe "shui chong" actually existed. :P

wait.. oh noo.. i just found this...

"i drink alot of water, because i did some research about if you work out and want to groww mass you should drink atleast a gallon of water/day for muscle to grow. i think this is making my face bloated if you look at only my face you would think that I am a fat 23 yr old. the rest of my body is slim and cut. i drink alchol and beer on the weenkends. If if i dont drink for a whole month or 2 my face is still bloated. could this be because of im drinking too much water?

Optional Information:
Male , Age: 23

Already Tried:
i tried cutting back on alchol and water. but when i dont drink to atleast a gallon a day , i feel dried up and so does my penis feel shriked ."

OMG DOES THAT MEAN IM GOING TO HAVE TO PERMANENTLY SETTLE DOWN WITH THIS OVERLY BLOATED LOOKING FACE????!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeee i dont want!!! :( why is god punishing me so bad?? first the measles, now this new face... im so unlucky... sigh! but lets look at the bright side, ive actually archive many things after i got the measles. AM I RIGHT? hahaa. so i hope this face dilemma is only TEMPORARY! i wont be going out till next week so i hope everything gets back to normal after that! :D

ps: im definitely not out on friday night and so as saturday night too due to the measles. haha. ok fine, truth is im a bit paranoid about the swine flu all rite! lol. =.= my immune system is very weak at the moment! -_- but yeah heh. if i do get better i MIGHT go out during one of the nights. there'd be a function on sat in alfresco so we'll see! x

2009 is a cruel year. life is against me and i think god is trying to punish me......... *BIG SIGH* so far i havent been lucky with anything. :( i really dont know what it is that i did so wrong! i just really wanna get away from this sad land and start new. and at the mean time, i need hui zhen my therapist!

these past few days was a blast. i worked at the pc fair for 3 days and met awesome new friends. haha. it was a great way to spend my weekend. it turned out to be good, i had tons of fun. =) shall post up some pics of it if i manage to find them online. for the time being, you can drop by my facebook and view some of the pics from the pc fair there. haha. the rest of the pics are still MIA.
so tata for now. xx